Wednesday, October 8, 2008

It Hurts Me Worse

I was reading a wonderful book recommended by a dear friend called "Sacred Parenting" and I related completely with his chapter on "The Hardest Hurt of All." It was truly eye-opening for me. One of the things that has been very difficult about being a quad mom, more specifically, a mom to preemies was that I had to helplessly endure the pain of watching my little ones suffer from day one.  They struggled to breathe, struggled to eat, to keep warm. It was heart-wrenching and every part of me wanted to gather those babies close and run away from all of the wires, tubes, monitors, hospital staff and protect them in my arms. But, of course I would never have actually done that because they would have had no chance at a normal, healthy life if I did.  

So, why am I doing it now? Why do I, as a mom, try to protect my child from everything that might harm them?  Run to be sure they don't fall when it might mean they take a stronger step next time? Or shield a slap to the face from a brother when taking the sting from a sibling could have taught him not to selfishly pull away a toy?  It's horrible to watch some of these things happen, but I am pretty sure that it's harder for me to endure than them. And even more, if I don't get used to letting them make mistakes, take some falls, am I prohibiting their chance to build character and spirit?  I've realized that suffering is part of parenting and I'm going to have to get used to watching my children hurt from time to time, knowing that they have a much better chance at becoming wonderful, faithful children who will walk with God if they are allowed to fall. But, oh, how it hurts my heart to hear them cry!

Finn Doesn't Fancy The Feel of the Grass

Noah Happily Wearing His Dinner While Sophia Checks for Leftovers

Sophia's Observation Tower

Cohen Starts Soccer Practice


Finleypotamus said...

Yay, a much overdo blog post from Mari. I have missed them. I know what you mean though... I hate to see the boys hurt or upset or crying.

Following Him said...

I am so glad that HE picked you to be their mama! I know it is hard to hear cries too! Wonderful post!

Suzanne said...

so wise little mama...such a hard lesson to learn. i'm kind-of where you are at right now--babies are starting to take toys away and throw fits...sometimes i get overwhelmed and think, "OMG! i don't even know where to begin!" my biggest struggle right now is having to figure out what types of behavior modification works best with what child...although we both have 4 quads, they are all so VERRRRY different! which is a good thing! just makes things a little trickier for us! love you!!!

Moni Graf said...

Wiser words were never typed! It really makes you view each situation so differently if you look at it from that angle.


Alaine said...

You are so open to what God has to say, and so brave to share your heart openly. You are a blessing in my life and I am glad you enjoyed the book. Much love. "My God will wipe every tear..." Rev. 7:17

twinsx3 said...

This lesson is much easier learned with the second child or second set of multiples in my case! I am so blessed that I found your blog. You are an amazing mother. Keep up the good work. Your children are beautiful :)


rachael said...

the pictures are so sweet, you have such beautiful children! i have to tell you that my triplets are not big fans of grass either!

i think that is probably the hardest thing to do as a parent...let go and let our children get hurt or hurt themselves. it is so ingrained to want to protect, but we have to let them fall so they learn how to pick themselves back up and prevent the fall next time. most of the time i think the pain lingers with us far longer than it does with them.

valb said...

I am helping to teach Sacred Marriage presently--another good book. My children are 24 and 29. Just as you never cease to care as a mother, even when your mothering days per se are over, the principle of watching them suffer to become stronger people/Christians also never ends. Keep loving them and releasing them to the Lord.