Weekly Family Roundtable
Cohen Gets Whipped
Try Burger Bites Instead, Noah
Will You Stop Biting For A Donut Hole? (Sophia & Finn Chew On It)
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Misplaced The Cape
Well Supermommy officially needs Supernanny for it seems my super powers have gone out of the window in the past few weeks. Somewhere in the midst of mobility and the word, "momma" came a burst of strong will to do wrong! We don't have many rules at the age of 1 but the few that we do are broken more than a dozen times a day - by each baby! And we now have the new found problem of biting. I'm not talking innocent, "whoops, I was trying to teeth on your shoulder and bit you." I''m talking - "get away from my toy, little brother!" grab the head, or arm, or face... then, CHOMP, biting! So while we wait for Supernanny to show up at our door and whip us into shape - I'm trying timeouts in a corner or pack-n-play; yelling OUCH, THAT HURTS -WE DON'T BITE - which is received with a blank stare or smile; and pulling my hair out which is just leaving me looking more crazy than I already did. We'll keep trying.
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24 comments:
Biting stinks. We've had quite a long wave of biting at work, luckily they are only twins and it's only one who is the regular biter.
It's a tough road but you are doing it. Keep up the good work. Consistency is your best friend in regards to any discipline and being on the same team as your co-parent is key. If you can keep those two things, take breaks when you think you need a time out and stay the course you'll be a graduate of biting (and any other discipline issue) college before you know it.
Love the pictures. Keep up the good work!
Thanks for the encouragement, Heather! I'll try to stick to one method and use it every time. It looks a whole lot easier on the reality shows! - Mari
i could have written this exact post...but instead of biting mine are pulling hair and pushing! someone just asked me the other day what the most difficult thing is right now about having triplets and i said, trying to figure out how to discipline one 1 year old while comforting another at the same time! i like the idea of time-outs in the pack and play though...brilliant! i can never keep them in one place for long enough for a time-out so having that confined space is a great idea! how long do you do timeouts for?
oh gosh, soon it'll be pointing fingers at each other to blame the other for doing wrong!
It's a new stage and it sounds like you're getting a head start. You'll be fine! Keep it up!
Mari, we had one biter & one hair puller. Consistency is the key and now none of them are doing it. THey now just push each other completely out of the way or knock each other over. The time-out in the P&P's is a good one. I have also heard where you put their arm/hand in their mouth if you catch them about to bite, so they knwo what it feel like. (Does that make sense?) So sorry you are going thru this. Mine main biter did it for fun and would crack herself up when you went ouch.
Good luck,
Misty
I leave them in the P&P for about 1 - 2 minutes (making sure no toys are in there, etc) I'm not convinced it's getting the point across since they are typically still screaming from being put in confinement and then I come to the rescue...maybe I'll start leaving them in there until they calm themselves down. ?? I just know that most rules for timeouts are 1 min per age...
Misty - good thought on putting their own hand in their mouth - I'm going to try that one!
Gosh, no words of wisdom here, none of my kids so far has gone thorugh a biting stage - but just hang in there, it is just a phase, and has absolutely no reflection on your mothering skills - so keep the cape on and just keep trying to outrun those little biters yourself! lol
Yay a post by my favorite blogger. I am sorry the kiddos are biting. Finley went through a stage of biting but his was more the teething biting. His big no no is throwing his sippy across the room and pitching a caniption if you tell him no. I enjoyed our walk this morning. Hope you didn't melt! I almost did but it was still fun. Can't wait til it's cooler and we can go more often.
I love the way you tell the story! It sounds like you have and are trying some reliable ways to solve the issues. (I think Chris told you my solution, sure its not high on any good parenting list even though it worked for that child) I agree-be consistent, don't give up! Much love.
Mari, keep that supermommy cape on - you are doing a great job. I am certainly no supernanny but if I lived closer I would "nanny" those cute munchkins all day long. Maybe one of these weekends I'll call and give you and Chris a break while I play with them. BTW - do the kids get their stong will from you or Chris????? Debbie
Thanks, Debbie. You just let me know when you're up for that! :) That strong will probably comes from me...but chris would be a very close second - we're in big trouble!
oh gosh mari...i DREAD the day and i know it is right around the corner! that is some great advice about the time out in the P&P. miss ya, sista! been watching any denise lately? haha...love you!
Oh man! I remember the teething biting with my twins! Not fun...now my son likes to bit for fun! And yet, I still don't think it's funny! I do timeouts and although its still a work in progress, it's getting easier. Hang in there!
Oh by the way...I do timeouts where they sit against a wall...same place downstairs and same place upstairs. I count out loud to 10 and then help them hug the other twin. Mine are 19 months old and I started timeouts at about 13 months...
Girl, you don't need a cape! Super parenting is your forte. However, I hope you come up with a solution so I know what to do if and when ours start!
Have I told you lately how flippin' adorable your kids are? I know it probably doesn't cross your mind when they're trying their chompers out on each other.
Love,
Moni
You will have to keep us quad moms posted on what you come up with, for i know i will for sure need your advice (as always :))
You are such a great mom, your children are so blessed to have you!!
Mine are doing the SAME thing right now and it just makes me want to have a timeout sometimes...:)~ anyway. I am trying to be very consistent and use and very calm voice. it is soo hard to know who to deal with first though...the biter or the bitee. i know they get frustrated and their teeth are continually coming in and this won't last forever but....somedays it feels never ending! I'm right there with you sister!
Let me know if you find something that works well for you!
Jenny
Biting and timeouts-never a dull moment in ya'lls home. As for time out, one minute should be enough!
~Elyse~
I'm sorry your having a rough mommy moment. I read a book called "Love and Logic:Early Childhood" and it helped me start being consistent with my discipline with my two kids. Granted I don't have multiples, but it's an easy read and it might be worth checking into. My friend Wendi gave me a copy of her audio version...so it's out there too. Hang in there, life will get easier as a mom.
Biting bites! I only have one, so I was the one he was biting...and by the time he was one he had all 16 teeth. Someone had suggested I bite back, but I couldn't do that! Time out didn't work because he got to where he enjoyed it...not really getting the point across. So, I did what I judged a friend for doing a few years before...popping him in the mouth when he would bite. Obviously NOT hitting, just something that kind of stunned him because he is still oblivious to the word no. Anyway, right or wrong, the biting went away in less than two weeks. Now we are working on throwing things at mommy's head...like spoons and books and blocks. Good times, good times.
I had a son that went through a brief biting phase, then tried it out again many months later. What worked for me, and for us worked very well, was everytime he would bite I would say firmly but still in a normal voice "no bite". It was very hard not to react when he bit me but I didn't make a big deal out of it around him (I would walk in the other room and rub it) I just said "no bite" and then would put him down away from me and not pay any attention to him. He did not like that at all. This seemed to do the trick because he wasn't getting any attention for it, it was matter of fact and not acceptable. I am not sure how this would work for you or if it's feasible for multiples but it's a pretty simple concept. Consistency is the key though so you are very much on the right track! Biggest thing is just to do what works for you and your children.
Who wouldn't want to eat your little precious kiddos up??? I think if I was around them for two minutes you would have to put me in a 26 minute time out for chewing on Finn's arm!
I hope yall have evacuated or purchased a generator! You have a safe place to come here in Baton Rouge if you need it.
Jac
I am having the same biting problem with my 15 month old twins and it is also driving me insane!!!
If you discover the solution, let me know! I am about to have to start putting them in longsleeves because their arms are filling up with bite marks!!
I can imagine that you must be "breaking them up" all day long!
Best wishes!
Mari- don't hate me for saying this but you may have to just bite them. You don't have to break the skin .. just hard enough to get your point across being - biting hurts- they will get the message. Its gonna be tough to do but it does work. I was a serious take a hunk out of you biter and my grandmother bit me back pretty hard and i never did it again. My grandson is a year old and he thought it was great fun to bite. His bite was getting pretty painful so he got bitten back and he has not bitten since. You have to bite them hard enough just so their eyes go a little wide - not even hard enough to make them cry.
Stay safe.
Lori
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